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Because sometimes Twitter is all the entertainment you need.
"You can love money but it will never love you back..."
"Playing Flappy Bird with the boys"
"Don't know where the industrial tit tape was from"
"...Needs more clarity"
"We were clearly the best dressed @ the @BRITAwards"
"We started my hat auction at $200 (the price I paid for it) and it's already over 10k!"
"The "Devil" doesn't come dressed in a black cape, red skin and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for"
"The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down a field and never scoring. B.C"
"Pharrell has so much swag. His album cover is the one"
"Let go of frustration and accept what is"
"i thought it'd be bigger - how to ruin a guy's self-esteem in 5 words"
"Just deleted Whatzapp since Facebook bought it"
No wifi on flight is what prison must feel like
"Just wondering, is it weird that I hear trumpets when you're turning me on?"